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[Jan 31st, 2006] |
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man i hate being alone. all those people who are like "i need my alone time", i don't know how they do it. i think it is the worst thing in the world.
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[Dec 8th, 2005] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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northstar |
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so pretty much. i miss having a best friend. don't get me wrong, jazz would kill me if she read that last sentence. it's more like i want a best friend here with me. not that i'll be "here" for long. but i miss having someone to hang out with 24/7 until you are so sick of them you just want to scream. lately i just go to the mall by myself because of #1 lack of things to do, and #2 lack of people to do stuff with. again don't get me wrong, i loooove charlie, but there are some things that i need my best friend to do with me. trust me i've tried talking him into manicures. i wish jazz lived closer. i wish she would come home more often. i mean i do alright with the friends i've got here. i mean i love rin (even though things haven't been going that great) and teeny (we get along so well and i actually feel like i can trust her). but i HATE being alone. i mean i HATE it. maybe i should learn to live with it, but not unless i have to. i want someone around me all the time. someone to laugh at dumb shit with. life is so frustrating when someone is not standing beside you suggesting how you can get through it. i need that person. i mean i am busy, but i definitely still have time to bullshit. i guess my life isn't that bad you know. i don't want to seem like the needy bitch who needs a ton of friends. i'm not asking for that. i am simply just asking for a few good ones.
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[Nov 16th, 2005] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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do you ever feel unimportant to your friends? like you don't matter to them? yea doesn't it suck? cause you put so much into a friendship and sometimes you don't get anything in return. but, on the other hand maybe your selfish. nope, forget that part. and you are the one who is always there, but what happens when they are ready to come to their senses and you are already gone. too late.
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[Oct 13th, 2005] |
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charlie is buying me this!
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[Oct 4th, 2005] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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new death cab |
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how can you ever fully trust someone again after they cheat on you? i know from previous experience that it will never work after one person has cheated on another, yet people still try. they say they are in love, but if they were so in love then why was there cheating going on in the first place? i keep seeing it hurt my friends. the person getting cheated on is the one who wants to work things out. i wish i could make them not love the person anymore, but no one can tell someone how to feel. but things will never go back to the way they were. and you can't have a relationship without trust. so why even try.
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[Sep 28th, 2005] |
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mood |
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this girl from high school sent me a message on myspace saying "when are you gonna realize some people don't like you". what a child. ahhhhhhhhhh i hate girls.
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[Sep 22nd, 2005] |
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soul kid #1 |
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do you ever wonder if you are doing the right thing with your life?
i do. all the time. i wonder if i'm majoring in the right thing. i like school, it's just that i never really have been like, "that is the one thing i want to do for the rest of my life." i want to be certain that i am securing my future. but, anyway, school is good. i got out of my govt. class early today so me, stacey, and wyatt went to subway. i'm glad i got to hang out with stace considering i never get to anymore. i really don't have a lot of time to hang out with all the friends i actually want to. sucks, having responsiblity. we were talking about how a lot of people we know have died recently, and how some of our friends were like, "i'm gonna start hanging out with people i really want to before it's too late." i said i wasn't going to change my life just for fear of death, because if you need to change, then you weren't happy with how you were living. i am happy with how i am living. i wouldn't change now.
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[Sep 5th, 2005] |
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at the drive in |
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girls can be so petty.
just listening to my friends talk about girls in relation to how they act over guys is so fucking ridiculous.
i'm so glad that's not me.
i think i would kill myself.
anyway...
school blows ass.
who is with me on that?
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[Aug 7th, 2005] |
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grind with me - Pretty Ricky |
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i love charie. he makes me so happy. and so what if my best friend went back to florida, and i have no one to hang out with. my life is good. afterall it could be a lot worse. i will make new friends. a fresh crowd. don't wanna get bored you know.
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| today is my birthday. |
[Jul 17th, 2005] |
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it should be great. it should be fun for me, but once again i am left the unhappy one because i have to make everyone else happy. i just wish i knew if i was happy. its like i get to have it for a second and then it gets taken away. but then again maybe i bring this on myself. i start out with my heart on my sleeve giving it to any random person. i need to learn to be stronger because people walk all over me. a person can only take so much of that before it breaks there heart forever. i feel like that could happen to me. and i try and hide it. that never works. i want to keep pretending. i keep hearing everyone telling me to be happy. who is actually happy. not me.
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| Bored................ |
[Jun 17th, 2005] |
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mood |
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frustrated |
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music |
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Copeland |
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Do you ever get so frustrated because you think your life is at a standstill? Lately I just feel like I should be doing something great with my life. Instead, I work 8 hours a day, all week. Boo hoo reality sucks right? What happened to the summers that felt like eternity. I miss those summers where I could sleep in and do nothing all day long. I guess I left those behind with middle school. That blows me. Its ok though because hopefully by the end of the summer I will have enough money to buy a new car. That is if I don't spend it all on concert tickets and clothes. Although that does sound tempting. Anyway, I need the beach. It seems so far away. I can't wait. I miss my friends. I want more time to hang out. Call me peeps. This 9-5 gig is killing me.
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[May 29th, 2005] |
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mood |
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music |
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Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine |
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Do you ever wonder why we always set ourselves up to get let down? And even though it happens to us at least one million times in our lives, we still do it. So, I guess in a way dependence is a weakness we all have.
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[May 25th, 2005] |
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Lauren Latham R.I.P.
Viewing at St. Ignatius Chapel Point:
Friday, May 27, 2005
2-4 p.m.
6-8 p.m.
Prayers at 7 p.m.
Funeral at St. Ignatius Chapel Point:
10:30 a.m.
I miss you.
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[May 12th, 2005] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
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doesn't matter cause i can't hear it! |
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I'm drunk!!!
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| I saw the ocean |
[May 7th, 2005] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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Death Cab |
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This weekend was so much fun. Charlie and me went to Salisbury to see Katie and Julie, and for field day, which I wish I didn't spend $10 on. But at least I got to see Sarah, Josh, Kimmy, and Ben. Starting Line did not impress me at all.
We drove up friday night. We ended up goin with Katie and Julie to this party at UP. Ciara and Ashley were so drunk, and it was hilarious. We met Sonny and he just kept shaking our hands. Funny guy. Then we went to Taco Bell/Piza Hut to grub.
Saturday we decided to go shopping at the mall. It was fun. Charlie got soooo many clothes. He is worse than me. I wanted a pair of Rainbow flip flops but the Pac Sun there was out of my size. So, we decided to drive to OC and go to the outlets. I got them and they are so comfortable. Then, I wanted to see the ocean. I made everyone take there shoes off and walk on the beach with me. The water was frickin freezing. But I didn't care. Katie didn't walk in the water cause she has oceanphobia! "I wonder if I have any phobias."--Julie. I love how random she is!
Now I am sitting at Charie's. Happy Mother's Day you mothers!
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| the NYC bitches! |
[Apr 23rd, 2005] |
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mood |
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enthralled |
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music |
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death cab |
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yesterday charlie and i went to NEW YORK CITY! it was amazing. long ass bumpy bus ride was not fun. i took literally 99 pictures. i felt like everyone was looking at me like, "awww look at the cute little asian girl with the camera". we went to the top of the empire state building. awesome view. 860 feet up. really high. we went shopping of course. macy's and gap. macy's is huge. charlie bought me the cutest bathing suit. no matter how skinny people say you are, you still feel fat in a bathing suit. yea. i bought the ever so touristy "i love ny" shirt from a street vendor. predictable i know. i dont care. we walked so much. times square was busy. trl. virgin mega was heaven. i bought death cab. so did charlie. we ate kfc. it was good. i saw my friend terrance who goes to marymount manhattan. it was so good to see him. we drank starbucks. there was one on every corner, which is probably why ny never sleeps. style is so cool there. lots of asians. i felt right at home.new york is dirty. it rained. dirty. we drove through harlem. i saw the trump building. i love new york. the whole time i was there i was just like so amazed they filmed sex and the city there. my favorite show.
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[Apr 18th, 2005] |
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New! Mae |
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My car is fixed, thanks to Charlie and my daddy. Thank god. I don't have to bum rides from people like in the 10th grade.
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[Apr 8th, 2005] |
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amused |
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Blood Hound Gang! (vagina) haha. |
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So yea, what is better than watching Charlie do the Tom Cruise slide, from Risky Business, across the floor in his underwear and socks?! haha.
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[Apr 7th, 2005] |
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Copeland |
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Today started out good but suddenly went all to shit. I went to class, turned in my amazing paper that I will be getting an A on, and found out that I got a 98% on my midterm. Then Rinny called me and I went to lunch at Ruby Tuesday's with her, Kim, and Lyndsey. Then all 4 of us went tanning.
Later on when Charlie got off work I decided to go to his house to watch The OC. I was almost to his house and then something so bad happened. This lady in front of me, driving a Nissan, stoppped all of a suddden. To avoid hitting her in the ass, which I did, I turned my wheel to the right and drove up into someone's yard right between a tree and some mailboxes. I only knicked the mailbox. But the lady got out of her car and started yelling at me. She was like, "You stupid bitch this is my new car." A guy standing in the neighbor's yard ran over and was like, "Calm down she didn't even hit your car." Apparently the lady had just had an accident with a teenager who didn't have insurance and was taking it out on me. She called the fucking police. It was a female cop who showed up and she was really nice to me. She didn't write me a ticket and told me she realized the lady was being really hot-headed. I called Charlie and him and his mom and dad came. Anyway, the lady has a little ding in her car above the window where a little piece of the mailbox that I broke off hit her. So I guess I will be paying for that. Lucky me. Anyway I'm just glad I reacted fast enough to miss her. My car is still drivable, except I can't open my driver side door because I dented my fender, so I have to climb out the passenger side. The lady apologized to me for yelling. I'm just glad the cop was really nice. But I'm sad that my car is messed up. What a blower.
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[Apr 4th, 2005] |
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I wanna hear the new Gwen Stefani song still! haha. |
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This weekend was soooo much fun! Me, Charlie, Chelsea, and Lauren drove to Salisbury on Saturday afternoon. Fun ride with lots of great tunes like Hanson, Brittney Spears, and N*Sync. We drove Charlie nuts. We got there and met up with Katie and Julie and drove to the show. It was a really good show, and all the bands played very well. Driving East, Cutlery (they need to make a cd soon!), The Get Down ("Praise Jesus!"), The Felix Culpa, and Downtown. Amazing! Good job Sarah! After the show we went to McDonald's. I got a burp in the face that smelled like burger and fries! (the plastics!). Then we went back to Katie's room and decided to go to the party and meet up with everyone else. Killer party. Thank you to Katie and Julie for suppying the drinks so we could get CRUNK! haha. Some crazy shit was goin on at that party! haha. Some girl on girl action! I got so many people to kiss. I will leave out names to protect the innocent! I got a lap dance! (thanks Sarah! haha.) And Brian told me all about a book he just read about a junkie and I am compelled to read it. William S. Burroughs! haha. "I'm trying to talk about literature and you're talking about Gooosebumps!" haha. Stacey told Jake he has a lazy eye! haha. She kills me. Katie and Julie are some crazy girls when they get crunk! "Jake is so cute!" haha. "FITZPATRICK!" They were so much fun.I LOVE them. Poor Lauren had to deal with it all.
Today we got up and went to La Tolteca. MMMmmm! We finally left at like 3:45. Now I am soooo tired. Definitley a good weekend.
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